Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I have never done anything like this before. I am not writing this for people to read, however I feel like if I put my feeling somewhere instead of keeping them all inside of me it will be relieving. 
Lately my world has come crashing down on me. Out of no where my 8 month relationship just ended last Sunday, and we haven't spoken since that night. It is completely beside me that someone who said they felt the way they did about someone can just completely forget about them. So here I am thousands of miles away from him, probably never going to see him again writing on a blog. That hopefully no one will ever find out about. How pathetic is that? I thought we had something real. The only form of communication left is facebook where we can see what each other is doing through pictures and wall post. 
The first few days after the break up were terrible, I just sat around and cried and couldn't get my mind off of it. Now that sadness has turned into bitter anger. I am mad that he hasn't contacted me, I am mad at the way it ended, I am mad that I wasted 8 months in a long distance relationship, and I am mad that he led me on to believe we really had something.
Life is a roller coaster ride though, faith is believing you can close your eyes. So now I am going to stand through all the sadness, stand when I feel like everything is crashing down on me. I have a lot of things going for me, and honestly think I can do better than what I had. Thats not to say that I am not sad about how things turned out, because I invested so much of my life into that relationship. My mom said the other day you have to guard your heart, you can't just give your heart to anyone, only certain people deserve that. I am going to choose to look at the situation as a better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. I know some people that have never had the chance to fall in love, and honestly it is one of the best feelings in the world. I just hope that one day I can find someone to share an unconditional love with. I am only 20 years old, and have a lot of time left. So here I am starting my new life, with a fresh start. I will let you know how it goes!

1 comment:

  1. Hello Jen... the luck brings me on your blog... this blog that you have just begun rightly... you seem to have need of encouragements... then, I tell you "good courage"... anyway, to your age, all is to come, don't worry too much!